03 May 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
VSO define volunteering as (broadly speaking) having enough money to eat and pay bills but not enough to save, invest or purchase anything non essential. So, I get 200,000 CFA per month which is around £270 and that gives me enough to buy veggies from the market, get around in taxis after dark or when you need to transport something, phone bills, household bills etc..
My major non-luxury outlays are, in order of bloody expense:
Phone bills: there is a very complicated phone system here but essentially everything is done via pay-as-you go mobile phones. There is no difference between work calls or personal calls- you do everything on your personal mobile. I find the credit to call another mobile phone here more than exorbitant and, internationally, it is much cheaper for people back in the northern hemisphere to call me on skype credit then it is for me to call landlines or mobiles at home. The text messages are cheap at approximately £0.015p.. the bad news is that they’re so unreliable you can never count on them going through 
)
Bills- but hey.. what can you do about that ) They’re approximately the equivalent of the costs of bills at home.. which makes them very very expensive in CFA.
Taxis- Public transport is essentially non existent so if you need to transport anything or go about at night it’s all about taxis.. And this can add up majorly. I’ve just started cycling in the dark which is helping bring those costs down but they are still significant.
Help at home- (they encourage you to either have someone giving you domestic help or having a guardian (watchman?) to show that you’re playing full part in society by giving someone a job). I currently dont feel the need to have a guardian so I have Assetou who comes twice a week and does the two main things I detest- washing my clothes by hand- huge amount as because of the sweat you can only wear them once and washing the inordinate amount of tiled floors in the house.
Since budgeting is all about prioritizing (ha ha ha) I have decided to make a firm decision to:
- Exchange my previously very high intake of soda to a can a week
- No purchase of meat or fish
- Limited purchase of ‘expat’ products (which sadly means no overpriced taillefine yoghurts but is reduced to dark chocolate once a month, wannabe Quaker oats and biscuits)
- Eating out limited to once a week- in a high price for general burkinabé/low price for an expat type of place
- No beer or wine at home
- No cheese
- No clothes shopping
Thankfully I have this first aid kit fit for the whole of Africa, enough contact lenses to last me another few months, have pinched Melissa and Benoit’s hard drive for screen entertainment, have inherited most of Helen’s kitchen and have enough books on kindle and in hard back for another few months.
This means I can use a significant proportion of my monthly budget on the enjoyment of sport and pay for tennis, gym and swimming pool.. woo hooooo! And before anyone points out that this is a luxury let me just say that a swimming pool becomes a life dependency tool, the gym allows me to stay fit enough to cope with the climate here (+ it’s too hot to run outside) and the tennis.. ok.. the tennis is why I’m giving up cheese. But it still allows me to exercise when I have no desire to gym it ;o) And.. a private one hour lesson is less than the cost of a pint back home.. And.. that way one day I can impress Jamie Murray. Even though he’s married now.
I think I may need to readdress this when I fancy eating something slightly different than cucumber, tomatoes, onions, couscous, rice and mangos. Or when I wear out my sports socks, sports bra and lonesome pair of bball shorts and shoes. Which would be a slight catch 22 situation with my prioritization of budgets.
However, if you’re a proper expat you have:
Absolutely no worries about money whatsoever and lead a rather extravagant lifestyle.
And to give you an idea of a luxury- I was feeling ill yesterday and thought to myself ooh, to lie on the sofa curled up with a magazine- let’s buy a Ca m’interesse magazine. It cost me the equivalent of 752 pieces of okra, 376 tomatoes or 94 cucumbers. So that’s a luxury I wont be paying myself anytime soon in the future…
03 May 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
The Ouaga crew came to visit Bobo last week and it made me very happy!
It was so funny to see their (very positive) reaction to the cooler climate. So Friday night we had dinner at a place called the Campagnard where I failed miserably, yet again, in my attempt to order merguez at that place (at my last recount chipolatas were definitely not a version of merguez, however creative one wants to get with a sausage- yes Sacha, if you’re reading, that one’s for you).
Saturday was exploration in Bobo time. In the morning we went to see the vieux quartier which is the first quartier of Bobo to have gotten built (district? neighbourhood? how do you translate that?). Got ourselves this great guide who explained all the animist rituals*.. Great stories about sacrificing chickens, dead bodies, fetishes and the births of twins. What made me laugh the most was that in the middle of all these curious stories about stuff I had absolutely no idea about was massive chalked signs supporting Real Madrid or Barcelona.. Being a Madrid fan (Note- you cant change your team but I would just like to publicly point out, even if you couldn’t care less, that I do not like what Madrid stand for at the moment, I cant stand Mourinho and I cant stand egomaniacal Ronaldo and his look at me and my orange tan and hair gel and silly shorts and individualistic selfish self-centered, self-obsessed approach to playing football . And I’m really admiring the way Barcelona are playing and Messi’s second goal last week was just sublime. Phew, there, I’ve said it, why on earth did I fall in love with some greedy capitalist royalist sucker upper team I just don’t know.. grrr..).. So yeah, being a solid and supportive fan I was tickled pink at seeing the rivalry chalked on the walls of this quartier historique.
Missed the second half of the visit as being a true champagne socialist carved out of the middle classes I needed to go pick up my organic veggies from the Petit Potager. Between that and my tennis lessons I couldn’t be more expat if I tried**. In the meantime the rest of them went to visit the old mosque which looks stunning from the outside and apparently was really good inside as well. Plenty of time for me to make that visit though in the next couple of years..
Met the crew again at the Bambous, this nice garden type bar known for its music (with awesome fairy lights in the evening). We ordered and suddenly the heavens opened upon us. It poured and it poured and it poured and not only did it pour but I saw the biggest hailstones I’ve ever seen in my entire life.We were stuck there for a few hours.. some of us even had a cardie on.. I wouldnt go as far as saying it was getting a bit nippy out there but a hot chocolate wouldn’t have gone amiss! Settled for the only Burkinabé option available.. the ubiquitous Nescafé.
Since that was our afternoon of lazing about in the pool spoilt we decided to go visit the Musée de la Houet and then onto the CCF (Centre Culturel Francais which is technically called the Institut Francais but habits die hard). Before reaching the CCF though we did a detour in what I can only describe as paradise in Bobo.. what a discovery.. the most beautiful garden nursery I think I have ever seen where there are just rows upon rows of incredible plants, foliages, flowers, of all sizes and types with a little river to accompany it.. Truly a not-so-little enchanted garden. I got swept away by the magic of it all and left with a banana tree, an orange tree, two vines, two eucalyptus and I threw in some mint for good measure. All of that came to the very affordable £12. Next trip is mango time. And maybe lemon time. What else do I want in a fruit salad? Yummy yummy yum yum )
Sunday we hit Banfora, a town an hour away from Bobo. The town itself didnt seem anything out of the ordinary but a couple of taxis took us to the waterfalls.. through kilometres of luscious greenery. Wow.. those waterfalls. OK, sorry, nope.. i’ve seen Niagara and yep,we’re talking about two completely different things here. Have also seen some gorgeous ones around Europe and they were nowhere near in comparison either. But I felt really at peace randomly walking around, hopping from rock to rock and bathing in every waterfall pool we could find. Sitting underneath the cascades also made for this fantastic pummeling of the back – just gutted that the photos have infuriatingly disappeared from my bloody camera. To be done, again and again and again. After that we went to see the Domes of Febedougou which are these awesome rock formations which are very climbable- though I’ll stop the description there as next time I need to bring proper shoes so I can climb to the top and see it properly.. woo hooooo )
And so.. that made for the end of the Ouaga comes to Bobo weekend- big happy smiley face )
It’s Bobo in Ouaga time next week so all is good in the world..
*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Animist
**Have decided to write separate blog post to explain why a volunteer on minimal money is having tennis lessons.
03 May 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
Is a private blog post sent to the girls. You can have a look if you remain in the female category and are preferably not my mother. Saying that, it’ll probably pacify Maman. Anyways, let me know and I’ll send it through.
03 May 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
I don’t really understand but suddenly everything has gotten either busy or I’m just far too tired in the evening to do anything else but cook dinner and collapse.
However… here are some random thought processes of stuff which has happened in the past few weeks and they are as follows:
- Helen left and is now in France escaping the Royal Wedding circus (fully endorsing this)
- Ouaga came to Bobo and we had a great weekend out (separate blog post)
- I went on my first trip to see the troupe do their theatre malarky in the villages (We could do a lot in learning how they attract an audience out of nothing)
- I now have CURTAINS!!! Woo hoooooo! And as a result of having curtains I will now be posting pictures up of my house online.. This is a very exciting moment in my life. The true summit of domesticity, patience and acceptance.
- I am now cycling in the dark which feels like definite progress.
- I’m growing more and more fond of Bobo. For those of you who have been to Thailand it reminds me of a little Chiang Mai. It’s cute, it’s manageable, it’s cheapish, it’s creative, you can choose what life you want to lead. Or you can dip in and out of several as I think I’m doing. Anyways, I think everyone should come visit Bobo once in their lives.
- I am now 29 years old and 51 weeks old and still searching for signs of maturity. White hairs however have been found.
- Rocky is behaving! But I have found myself going to Melissa’s just so I can pet Grumpy.
- Caught the two Champion League matches last week- I was very excited. Even though Madrid lost.
- I think I have found a place to play basketball! Watch this place so I can scream online with excitement when it finally happens!
- I hate Ecobank. More than I ever thought I would. However, since I have no desire to spend any time on useless feelings such as hatred I have decided to merely accept this as part of my induction to Bobo. Though I think I have a separate blog post brewing for for my bank transactions.
- My Dioula is not improving
- Bin Laden is dead..
13 Apr 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
Melissa is now back which means I will be soon handing over Mr Grumpy to her.
Needless to say, I am not unhappy about this, though, I must confess, neither am I ecstatically happy. Regardless of Mr Grumpy’s issues with me, he has, in general, speeded up my life around here.
He has spent his final days with me wanting to go out with a big bang.
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday last week counted for 5 jumped chains. I have mastered the art of turning Mr Grumpy over on the side of the road and putting the chain back, it happens so often I now play a little game- Kris against the clock, how quickly can you get Mr Grumpy back on the road again?
On Friday, some thing in the peddle/chain also stopped working so they had to buy a new piece. And then a few hours later the peddle disintegrated completely.
I let Mr Grumpy sleep for the night and on Saturday morning, whilst taking him to the bike hospital I noticed he had a(nother) puncture. Mr Grumpy spent two whole nights in hospital but is now in a state to be handed back… I have decided to write a little ode to Mr Grumpy.
ODE TO MR GRUMPY
3 weeks ago I got told I could borrow a bike
And I thought JACKPOT as I was sick of the hike
But hindsight is indeed wishful thinking
My nerve ends soon to start tingling
I’m tellin’ ya, it is a close line between dislike and like
The bike was soon nicknamed Grumpy
And every ride became rather bumpy
As he took an intense dislike to Kris
Concluding life at the mecano was bliss
I’m tellin’ ya, WHAT A F***IN’ BLOODY NUMPTY
But I promise you all that I’m also quite rational
And Grumpy was not permanently fallible
So as we reach our final day
I just really wanted to say
I’m telling ya’, Grumpy and me, it’s been emotional
Luv ya Grumps 
12 Apr 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
Helen is leaving in a few days time.
To recap, Helen is the volunteer who has been working at Sida Ka Taa for the past year and who has helped in every single way, shape and form in my integration into Bobo.
Last night Sida Ka Taa did a leaving party for her with music, food, dancing, speeches, presents etc.. It was touching seeing how much love, respect and gratitude there was in the room for Helen (I’m hoping I captured the tears on the camera, muah ha haaaa- I saw them Helen, you cant escape!). I spent my time holding the office toddler, taking photographs and smiling away, because the love was so infectious you couldn’t help but smile.
But I’m actually terrified. As one of the guys who did the speeches said, Kris, I don’t want to scare you but those are some big shoes to fill. I thought yep, no kidding, don’t you worry, I’m already having nightmares about it.
After nearly two months of settling down, sorting out the practical stuff, getting used to speaking French every day, meeting people, postponing learning Dioula, locating the gym and the swimming pools, and slowly getting inducted into the work process, I’m now being thrown in, maybe not at the deep end but currently feeling a bit like those poor hens who land into the horrible looking jaws of those sacred crocodiles. However, I’m actually just beginning the process that everyone else who arrived with me did weeks ago.
So last night, as I sat in the midst of the third evening of power cuts in a row, I started questioning the reality of finally abandoning the crutches.
Change is hard. And I know it will take a few more months for SKT to get used to Kris, not Helen. From the beginning when people talked about me replacing Helen I kept on saying no, I’m not replacing her, I’m just helping continue the work. Helen has been the first volunteer at Sida Ka Taa and has paved the way for the rest of us. I want to do the work justice and I know it will be a hard transition for all of us.
I remember once for an IB art project, upper sixth form, I got it into my head that I was going to be this person (actually a tramp) and I was attached by a silver cord to this spiritual angel (starring Elena Roddom). The tramp died, the cord snapped and the spirit was released. Left was the body, made out of bits of chicken wire, with a papier mache head and feet, painted to look as if they were rotting away. It was never going to win any Oscars, either as a film or as a piece of art though I did keep the papier mache head right up until last summer.. That would have made it 12 summers and I can assure you that they were definitely rotting away by then.
I think the point I’m trying to make is I’ve grown used to having that cordon there. Helen created a safety cordon of sorts between the unknown and the known. She was my penguin. As VSO jargon would put it. From next week onwards, the cord will have snapped and I will remain a random hovering bird, trying to land on the iceberg, trying to understand what type of fish are swimming in the sea and failing miserably cos I cant find my bloody penguin. But then.. I’ll just need to p..pp ..pp .pppp.p…p… ick up a (nother) penguin and it will all be fine again. Just to need to decide on the colour. Do I want a red one, a green one or a yellow one?
Just thinking back to the tramp and the spirit. That means that Helen and I are either a dead tramp or a lifeless spirit. Maybe not the best analogy in the world!
But anyways. I will miss not having Helen in the office, not being able to speak English every day, not having a solid clog in the social engine, not having someone to talk about the latest Guardian headline with and not being able to give my daily update on the boys of bobo ) So, Maclagan, thank you for everything, including letting me vomit in your toilet as well as being the Banque of Helene.
Bon Voyage!
30 Mar 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
The evening of the previous blog going up I went to collect Grumpy who now had 2 peddles back.
This lasted for precisely one bike ride.. as yesterday morning.. what goes again?
Stupid peddle fell back off.
Take him to the mecano, peddle gets reattached, tyres get blown up, it’s all fine.
I pay, I say goodbye, and as I leave I notice something and wonder..
..I’m sure there was a back light on this bike just a couple of days ago..
28 Mar 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
Sounds riveting doesn’t it?
Well as far as I’m concerned, it’s just damn frustrating.
See, Grumpy is a bike. More to the point it’s Melissa’s bike (sorry Melissa).
Melissa has gone to Ghana for 3 weeks and has very kindly lent me her bike for that duration. I am unaware of any nickname associated to the bike under Melissa’s careful ownership of it.
Grumpy has actually changed my life. I can now get to work very quickly.
And escape men, which as you know, has always been my life ambition.
-On the first day of mine and Grumpy’s acquaintance we went to the mecano to pump the tyres up. And the breaks aren’t working but I ignore it.
-On the second day Grumpy and I have a little fall, and the front basket and back light fall off. And the breaks aren’t working but I ignore it.
So we went to the mecano to fix it. Which he did, except the basket was completely warped and so not much use for carrying stuff round in on bumpy roads.
-On the third day Grumpy decides to puncture his tyres. And the breaks aren’t working but I ignore it.
So we went to the mecano and fixed his tyes. The mecano decided to switch the wheels and change the valves as well as apparently they were knackered.
-On the fourth day Grumpy decides that he needs to turn his handlebars upside down (why he ever thought that that would be of any use to me I really dont know). And the breaks aren’t working but I ignore it.
So we went to the mecano to have his handlebars switched back up.
-On the fifth day Grumpy decides to make his chain fall off. And the breaks aren’t working but I ignore it.
So we went to the mecano. No we didn’t I actually managed to sort that one out myself.
-On the sixth day Grumpy (actually it was Kris) decides to lose the padlock and chain (but not the key). And the breaks still aren’t working but I ignore it.
So we went to the mecano. No we didn’t. So we went to Helen and Helen’s Mary Poppin’s bag sorted it out.
-On the seventh day Grumpy decides to switch his handlebars again. And the breaks still aren’t working but this time… I’ve lost my patience.
So we went to the mecano to have his handlebars fixed plus the basket straightened up plus new breaks. And so there I thought would be the end of my troubles.
But no…
-On the freaking eighth freaking day, freaking Grumpy decides to freaking lose a freaking peddle. And Grumpy, how the hell am I supposed to peddle without a freaking peddle? Jeez.
So I walked to work today.
Who knows what the rest of the week will bring?
Though Melissa, if reading, please don’t worry.. by the time Grumpy and I have finished at the mecano’s Grumpy will have been reborn and hopefully will have changed from Grumpy to Cheery. And I cant wait to see Cheery.
Saying that, I do feel as if Grumpy and I.. well, it’s been emotional.
28 Mar 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
For those of you who have enquired:
Post
Post does get here. I’m thinking it will take a while.
The address is the VSO office in Ouaga and they will then take care of it to arrive in Bobo.
For quick post there is the DHL service which takes 2 weeks.
Post will be lovingly received ) And as soon as I figure out the postal service out of country postcards can then be lovingly sent…
This is the address:
VSO Burkina Faso
10 BP 13 464 Ouagadougou 10
Burkina Faso
Phone
My UK phone works here. I’m receiving your text messages fine (and they always raise a smile)- at your usual standard price- but I’m trying to stop myself from answering them on the UK phone as I’m betting it’s costing me a small fortune (if my February O2 bill was anything to go by).
I think I can answer on my Burkina phone – though if you do receive one, please let me know so I know it’s gone through- or on the wonders that is Skype..
Skype
Skype works in the office, chat and talk.. If you want my skype user name let me know and I’ll email it through.
Internet
I’ve got internet at work. It’s slow. And if the electricity doesnt work then internet doesnt either.
I was hoping to get a dongle for internet at home though this may be more problematic than I thought after a test run.. It may be that Mac’s aren’t compatible with dongles in this country.
I could also look at installing internet at home- but between phone connection and monthly payments that could cost me a small fortune. The jury is still out. At the moment I’m coping just fine with the office, but it does mean that skype is reduced to working hours :-/
18 Mar 2011
KrisPosted under Uncategorized
I’ve never found it easy to look after myself.
Sometimes I still wonder in amazement at the fact that I’m the eldest of 6 (talking of which, makes me fit in great with the Africans, thank you parents). All of my younger siblings (I’ll leave the 7 yr old out for the moment) have oodles more common sense, practicality and logic than me. Put us on a desert island and I can assure you I’m the first to cry out SOS. Lori would be inventing a new currency and extracting trade from the nearest islands, Coco Pops and Marky boy would be building a hut and hunting down food, Gege would have found a way to power up her laptop and facebook someone to her rescue. Me? I’d be asking.. wouldn’t it be great if we painted the hut pink? Whilst hunting for my backpack which I’ve lost within 5 mins of landing.
Which means that pretty much a significant proportion of the reaction I got when I said I was going to Africa was- Kris, how the hell are you going to cope?
I have so far managed to find the time to do the following:
-Entertain CHILDREN EVERY night (as opposed to avoiding them at all costs)
-Cover myself in sun lotion every morning
-Cover myself in mosquito spray every morning
-Cover myself in mosquito spray every evening
-Have 4 showers a day
-Wash my clothes BY HAND
-Keep my house tidy (and not pass out of shock)
-Take medication on a regular basis and look after my cuts and bruises (as opposed to generally avoiding medication of all kind)
-Wash every single vegetable and lettuce leaf I buy in bleach (as opposed to being told off by Sarah for not washing them at all back in London)
-Cook dinner EVERY night (as opposed to.. erm.. never)
-Wash up my pots and pans EVERY day (as opposed to.. erm..)
This is on top of the usual day to day chores such as getting dressed.
I am exhausted. I don’t know how you guys do it.
Especially those of you with children.
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